Thursday, April 14, 2011

Chapter 1

“In the beginning, God...”

These are the first four words of a book that, in most universes, is generally acknowledged to be the true account of creation and all life thereafter. In most cases, you'll find that the next six words are “created the heavens and the earth.” In fact, in almost every universe, it goes on to talk about how the earth was such a dull and boring place that God took a week out of his busy schedule to make something of it.

This book is commonly referred to as the Bible in most universes. Some call it The Guidebook and one universe tends to refer to it as The Very Long Book of Rules Which Tends to be Ignored but Tells How We Were Made. No matter the name, this book varies in every universe shortly after the first ten words.

If you have ever taken a moment to look around at the world around you, I am sure you will have realized by now that God is not fond of doing the same thing twice. Knowing this, it would make sense that God would not create every universe the same way. Every universe has been created differently, so it stands to reason that every Bible is different from the beginning of the story of creation.

Now, as mentioned above, each universe took about a week to create. So while God theoretically could have created an infinite number of universes, he eventually grew bored of creating and decided to just sit back and run them**.

There is one solitary universe that differs from all others only after the first four words. This universe is generally not known to be a universe, but is commonly referred to as dreamland. This universe was actually the very last universe to be created (and the one he became bored with) and was abandoned almost immediately. Thus, if the Bible had ever been written in that universe, it would have read, in it's entirety, “In the beginning, God.”




*It is also rumored that he wanted to screw with the heads of theoretical physicists. Being almost right is quite possibly worse than being one hundred percent wrong.